At our most recent mentoring session SisterMentors' women drew on their own experiences as girls to advise middle school girls of color on how to deal with issues in school that threaten their sense of self-worth.

The women encouraged girls to look within themselves to learn who they are and to focus on feeling good about themselves despite what others may say or do.

We started off our session with the girls by asking the following question: "How does school affect the way we feel about ourselves?" We all agreed that we spend a lot of time in school. The girls said that they spend about 13 hours a day in school and on school related activities from the time they get up on mornings to when they complete their homework at night. SisterMentors' women talked about spending anywhere from 8 to 18 hours a day working on their dissertation for their doctorate.

Both women and girls agreed that school plays a tremendous role in how they feel about themselves. A girl said that she feels good about herself because she is one of the smartest people in her class. A SisterMentors' woman responded that school determines how she feels about herself because school is about competition and measuring. Another woman admitted that school is a big part of her identity because her parents are immigrants and so they have always pushed hard for her to succeed in school.

One of the girls said that she finally figured out something that had been bothering her since third grade --- that what drives school is jealousy. This powerful statement from a thirteen year old launched a very interesting discussion about the high level of competitiveness that exists in schools and how that impacts students.

During our dialogue with the girls, it was clear that despite our different ethnicities, many of our school experiences as women and girls of color were quite similar.

One of the girls talked about a group of girls at her school she labeled "the perfect girls." She said that this group of girls, who are white, does everything right in the eyes of teachers, most of whom are women of color. This group also wins most of the awards for academic excellence and does well in sports.

The same girl said that although her grades are just as good as theirs, "the perfect girls" get more attention from teachers. When asked if she were jealous of "the perfect girls," she said yes because she would like some of the same attention the teachers are giving these girls.

SisterMentors' women shared similar experiences from when they were in school. A woman told a story about being treated differently, by a white school guidance counselor, because of her race and because she is an immigrant. Despite her excellent grades in high school, she was told that she was not college material and should instead go to vocational school. Another SisterMentors' woman talked about a group of girls at her middle school who she had labeled "the blondes" and how she had felt very different and apart from them.

Studies done by the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation document the role teacher bias plays in drop-out among girls of color.

SisterMentors' women asked the girl with the story about "the perfect girls" if, despite how her teachers treat these girls, she felt that she was just as smart as "the perfect girls." She answered yes.

The girls were reassured that it is how they feel about themselves that matters the most. SisterMentors' women offered advice to help the girls deal with feelings of jealousy or inferiority including advice to start building their own inner strength. SisterMentors' women explained that inner strength comes from knowing deep down inside who you are and feeling good about yourself in spite of how anyone may treat you or what they may say about you.

Shireen K. Lewis, J.D., Ph.D., Executive Director