One woman, who had been making a lot of progress on her dissertation before the holidays, said that she had been in a slump for several weeks. The dissertation had been giving her a headache and she found it painful to write a paragraph. She wondered aloud if perhaps her slump was due to the unusually severe winter we are having in this region.

Another woman chimed in and said everyone was suffering from "post-holiday blues." She explained that she had gone home to her family over the holidays and felt that she had "returned to the real world." She said that everyone had a "real job" --- as opposed to the full time she spends on writing her dissertation. She turned to the group and said, "All I have is the dissertation and some plants to take care of." Everyone busted out laughing.

Many of the women said that they were happy we were meeting because they needed support from the group to be able to get themselves back on track.

Turning Frustration Into Success
A turning point in our discussion came when a SisterMentors' woman --- who had been in a slump late last year and had expressed her extreme frustration to the group at our December meeting --- revealed that she had experienced a breakthrough. She explained that the source of her breakthrough was her letting go of certain beliefs and fixed ideas she had about what she needed to do to get the dissertation done. For instance, she had told herself that she must complete one chapter every month and when she did not meet that goal she would "beat up" on herself. The more she found herself unable to meet this goal, the more she became frustrated and somewhat depressed. These feelings began to snowball to the point where she was unable to get any work done.

She explained that she listened carefully to the advice SisterMentors' women gave her at our December meeting and decided to follow some of our suggestions. For instance, during the holidays she stopped trying to get any work done on the dissertation and took a break from writing. She went out to dinner with friends, went to the movies and tried not to feel guilty about not working on her dissertation. When she returned from her break right after the holidays she felt new energy and resolve.

She also explained that she realized she had to unlearn some bad habits she had picked up as an undergraduate student that she had carried into her graduate studies. She had gotten through school by waiting until the last minute to write papers for her courses. She would stay up all night and get these papers done and that practice had always worked for her. She had thought that she could apply the same method to writing the dissertation --- that she would be able to write an entire draft of the dissertation in one spurt. She realized this was not realistic and that she would have to devise mechanisms for getting the dissertation done over an extended period.

It is this change in her thinking and approach that helped her to break through the stagnation she had been experiencing. She now has a new attitude and new approach to completing her dissertation and getting her doctorate --- and she is making progress on writing her dissertation.

Addressing Self-Worth and Suggestions for Success
Another woman who has been part of SisterMentors for about three years, who has completed her dissertation and is waiting for a date to defend, shared her experiences with us. She assured the group that what they were experiencing was normal and that she had had similar experiences. She added that while she was writing her dissertation she had to constantly struggle with feelings of lack of self-worth. She knew while writing that intellectually she could complete the dissertation but had to confront emotional doubts. She explained that she had to unlearn how she viewed and valued herself.

Some of the suggestions women had for overcoming some of the obstacles we were addressing included reciting daily affirmations; writing in cafes instead of trying to write at home or at the library; lighting candles while writing at home on the computer; taking breaks to socialize with friends to cut through the isolation of writing; and giving yourself a gift after reaching a milestone such as completing a chapter.

A few days after our meeting, many SisterMentors women reported that they had been reenergized by the support and understanding from each other. They came away with the feeling that they were not alone in their struggle to write the dissertation and felt empowered by the suggestions and advice offered at the meeting. SisterMentors' women agreed that the key to their successful completion of the dissertation was to constantly examine their approach and attitude toward their writing and to be willing to shed old habits and unlearn old ways of thinking.

Shireen K. Lewis, J.D., Ph.D., Executive Director